Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
