What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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