lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
