My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
