i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
