I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
