Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
