why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
