Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
