Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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