speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize