i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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