weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
