It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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