even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
