can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
