I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
