Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
