i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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