I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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