She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
