He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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