I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
