i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
