I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
