I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize