69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
