i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
