so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
don't judge my taste in strippers
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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