fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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