I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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