Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize