Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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