No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
