I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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