Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
