Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
