we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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