fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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