honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize