So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
