Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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