addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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