I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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