I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
