i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
