Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize