That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
