OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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