Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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