Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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