grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
