Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
