my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
