Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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