so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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