there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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