i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
