So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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