you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
