Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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