I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We are all done wearing pants today
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
