There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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