so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
